Well that's different
by HDMcrazy
Summary: Will trys to see Lyra, Me, the author, keeps gettin in his way, Chpt 4! woohoo! please rr
1. Chapter 1

It was a warm summers day… wait, that's crap, mmm… it was dark and cold night and the wind was blowing like…mmm… like something really load… yeah that will do, anyway a boy and his… cat? Oh that's Will, Hi Will!

Will: Ssshhhhh, you'll spoil the atmosphere!

Oh, sorry, anyway, where ya goin?

Will: Well you're the author!

Oh well sorry, ok then; Will was the hit by a double Decker…

Will: sorry I'll be good… mumbles about incompetent writers

Good, why hasn't Kirjava spoke?

Kirjava: I haven't had to.

O.o right… anyway. Will watch out for the lamp…

Will: Agh! That hurt!

Sorry wasn't thinking :p. who's that? Will was approaching a shady looking man.

Man: Who's there, who are you?

I'm the writer just pretend im not here I just control your very existence, Mwahahaha XD

Man: O.o

Will: ignore him, my name is Will, I understand you know something I need to know?

Man: ooohhh, do you need to know how to polka, I like to polka -

Will: O.O, nooooo, I need to no how to get to another world…

Man: aaaaaah that would explain your daemon.

Will: O.O you can see Kirjava?

Man: of course I was borne in another world, at this a blackbird flies to his hand, misses and flies into a lamppost

Hehehe, birdy hit the lamppost, pretty bird -

Will: yeaaahh, anyway, do you know how to get to another world, the one were they have daemons?

man picks up bird

Man: yes but you must do one thing first.

Will: and what must I do, you must…

supensy silence

Man: learn to polka

Hehehe, you have to learn to dance hehehe…

Will: O.o you can't be serious?

Man: I'm deadly serious, now… IT'S POLKA TIME! random polka music plays out of no-where

Will: ah well, when in rome…

Tee hee, Will had to polka, please review, I need reviews!


	2. pancakes, badgers, and unicycles?

Thanx for all the rev… ok, thanx for the 2 reveiws mumbles

Any way I've been tied to a chair, im being feed 2 meals a day, an they said if I fell asleep again I would never be able to have children O.O, until I finish this story, so im hungry, thirsty, tired and scared… enjoy!

* * *

Man: there now you can polka! 

Will: you know when you get the hang of it it's not so bad

o.O right, shouldn't you be doing something?

Will: oh yeah, know how do I get to another world?

Man: yes, now, you see that rubbish bin over there?

Will: yeah… o.O

Man: well you see that card-board box behind it?

Will: yeah…o.O

Man: well you see the bum sleeping in it?

o.O

Will: yeah… o.O

Man: ignore him.

Will: o.O ?

Man: to get to another world you must eat a mouldy pancake while singing the national anthem, on a unicycle with your eyes closed, oh, and with a rabid racoon down your jeans.

All: WHAT?

Will: what are you talking about you're the writer you knew he would say that!

Oh yeah… MWHAHAHAHA XD, I mean O.O I feel your pain (snigger)

Will: well were is all this stuff?

Man pulls unicycle and mouldy pancake out of his pants.

o.O (shudder)

Will: you cant be serious… where's the racoon?

Man opens bin and pulls out racoon which is chewing on a bone, after wrestling for several minutes and with a few scratches the man hands the racoon to will with the bone in his own mouth

(shudder)

Will: well if it means seeing Lyra again…

After many tries and even more biting , Will manages to eat a mouldy pancake while singing the national anthem on a unicycle, with a rabid racoon down his jeans .

Will: uuunnnggghhh… pain….

Hahahaha XD

Will: well can we go now… wait a minute where's Kirjava?

mmmm… hold on…

(footsteps, door opening and closing, car starting and driving off)

Will: well… ummm… so… what do you do for a living?

Man: I teach racoon's how to polka, go on show him Stanley.

the racoon that was down Will's jeans, starts dancing the polka

Will: o.O oooo.k

(car driving then skidding to a stop, door opening and closing, footsteps)

there pant you go pant

Kirjava lands beside Will.

Will: where was she?

Dry cleaning

All: o.O

o.o What, didn't you notice how soft and shiny her fur is?

Will: well… it is soft… mmmm…

Kirjava: O.O, can we leave now?

Man: of course

Man opens bin lid, and beckons Will and Kirjava over. When will looks inside he sees a bluish, greenish coloured portal.

Will: O.O WHAT THE HE- I mean… well that's interesting…

Man: jump in.

Will: … ok.

Will jumps into the bin with Kirjava following.

* * *

Well what did you think? 

I need more reviews or they said they'd cut off my ear!

Please review! i like my ear!


	3. we're back!

Sorry i havnt updated in like... 2 years... or more... i lost track, jus been really busy... i hate skool...

anyway, for those of you who remember, the evil men who had tied me up an threatened my ear got bored an left... after a bit of careful thinking, and a great lot of ingenuity skills, i was able to cut the ropes that were binding me with little more than a paper clip, a pencil sharpener and a shoe lace... anyway, another story for another day,

here's "Well that's different!"

* * *

"Will? WILL? ... WILLIAM!!!!!!!!!" 

Will: huh? What, what?

"What the heck are you doing?"

Will: I was sleeping... seeing as you haven't said anything in like 2 years!!!!

"... I think it was more like 3..."

Will: WHATEVER!

"... Anyway... We going to find Lyra?"

Will: We would be if i knew where Kirjava was!

"How am i suppose to know?!?!?!"

Will: you're the author... (mumbles: idiot)

"... Don't think i didn't here that... "

Kirjava falls from the sky, landing right on Wills' head

Will and Kirjava: OW!!!!

¬-¬ " can we leave now?"

Will: Fine... Which way are we going?

" Probably that way" points at a sign which says

sign: Lyra this way

with an arrow pointing off-screen

Will: o.O Did i ever tell you i hate you? ... and since when do we have an off-screen o.O, we're a story!

"Excuse me? Who's the author here?"

Will: ... You are...

"And who controls you're very existence?"

Will: ...You do...

"Damn straight, now lets go."

And so they set out into the sunset, our two intrepid heroes... and me the author...

Will: o.O off into the sunset? Oh come on! Could it be any more gay?

"..."

When all of a sudden a rapid raccoon jumped out of a near-by tree, right into Will's trousers and began mauling him... a lot...

Will: NO STANLEY!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!! AAAAGGHHHH!!!!!

" o.O wtf?"

Kirjava: don't ask me...

"Aagghhh!!!! Talking ca- Oh wait, its only you..."

and so we leave our heroes, one an idiot author... wait a sec... anyway, a boy having his genitalia mauled and his funny looking cat...

Kirjava: how am i funny looking?

"never mind"

* * *

so please review!!! hope you like ma come back debeut... thing... 


	4. hedges

hey, chpt 4, enjoy!

* * *

Will and Kirjava were walking down a long winding path sided by steep hedges that blocked out the view on either side. They had been travelling for only a few minutes, but with many scratches and wounds from a previous encounter, it was hard going... 

Will: The only reason I'm injured is because your a cranky bast-

"HEY! Watch your language, I'm not wasting time in putting this in a different classification because you have a dirty mouth."

Will: (mumbles)

"You want another encounter with Stanley?"

Will: o.o I'll be good...

"Damn straight."

Kirjava: What's on the other side of these hedges anyway?

"AGH! Talking ca- oh... its only you... again..."

All: o.O

"Anyway, you don't want to know..."

Kirjava: Yes, yes i do..."

"Nooooo, you dooooon't"

Will: o.O you do know you don't have jedi mind powers...

"...¬-¬ shut up..."

Kirjava: Well? What's over there?

Suddenly they passed a place in the hedge were there was a gap in the foliage...

"Happy?"

Kirjava: Yes thank you.

Upon looking through the hedge, a mysterious man jumped through... fly kicking Will in the crotch as well...

Man: Hi-Ya!!!!

Will: Oh for the love of-!!!!! T-T The pain... it... hurts...

"HAHAHAHAHA XD"

Kirjava: was that really necessary?

"... yes "

After a prolonged period of crying like a sissy girl, Wi-

Will: I was not (sniffle) crying!

"...sure you weren't... anyway..."

Will recovered from his surprise attack and straightened him-self...

Will: Hey aren't you the guy who talk me to Polka?

Man: No, that was my brother, we just look very similar.

Will: So you're twins?

Man: Oh dear heavens no! We share different mothers...

All: o.O

Kirjava: but then how... when... why... oh whatever... do you know where we can find a girl named Lyra?

Man: ... No, why would I, do you think this is just some sort of story where every person you meet can point you in the right direction?

All: o.O... Yes...

Man: Oh, really? Sorry, my mistake, she's that way... (points of-screen)

Will: WE DON'T HAVE ON "OFF-SCREEN"!!!! WE'RE A STORY!!!!

"..."

A raccoon then flew through the hedge... landing in Will's jeans... and began mauling him... a lot...

Will: AH! WHY? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY?

Man: Stanley! Is that you? I havn't seen you in years!

Kirjava: o.O

Man: What? I met him when my brother was teaching me to Polka...

"Hahahaha!!! XD You know how to polka as well?!?!? XD"

Man: Yes, what of it?

"hah- nothing... o.o"

Kirjava: You know we never did find out what's on the other side of these hedges...

"So?"

Kirjava: ... You don't know do you?

"... No..."

Kirjava: o.O but... your the author...

"So?"

Kirjava: This is your world, what's over that hedge can be anything you want...

"Do I look like I care what's over the hedge?"

Kirjava: ... I can't see you...

"Well i don't, so deal with it..."

Kirjava: ... fine, whatever...

Man: ... Is he going to be okay?

Says the man as he points at Will lying crumpled on the ground as the raccoon crawls from his jeans...

"Meh... he'll be fine..."

Man: ... I think he's dead o.o...

"No he isn't."

Suddenly a bucket of water emptied it-self over Will.

Will: chicken schnitzel!!!!!!

All: o.O

Will:... What?

"Never mind..."

And so once again, another chapter gone, and our heroes have accomplished... well nothing, but they have gained a new companion and friend, as they trave-

Man: Friend? What? I don't like any of you! ... Except you Stanley...

All: o.O

"Well whatever, you're going with them... Stanley can come too..."

Man: Yey!

Anyway... Will Will ever find Lyra? Will we ever get rid of Stanley? Will i ever bother to write something exciting instead of just argue with the characters... probably not, but anyway...

* * *

Thnx Awnya!!!! your a star... i need reveiws tho! Or people jus readin this... anway! 

More soon!


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